Laptop vs Mattress

What I bought... Or didn't. Part Two.

My last blog was about me going to buy a washing machine and coming out with an iPhone. This time, it's slightly more abstract. I went to buy a laptop and came out with a mattress!

My intentions were again, very clear. I needed a laptop, or rather, I have wanted a laptop for a long time now. I have a 12 year old Mac tower at home. It may be ancient but it does what it needs to do. Most of the time I work in other people's studios anyway so I don't actually sit at home on a daily basis, designing things. My old computer works and thats fine... but when I saw the new Mac Powerbook laptops in the Apple store, I sort of swooned. They are powerful and sleek and silver and beautiful and it would mean I could type my blog in bed. That's what's important after all... reading emails, browsing the internet and writing, in bed. You all do it I'm sure, and I can hardly drag my 4-stone Mac tower into bed with me!

So, last Sunday I drove to an area of South London that is not usually in my 'most visited' zones. It's where all the bed and furniture shops live, there's a massive Ikea, a giant Sainsbury's and loads of computer warehouses. It's congested and ugly and I usually avoid it like the plague but needs must and I needed a laptop. I had just got to the computer area when I took a wrong turn and ended up in the car park of a bed shop. Instead of leaving, I parked and had a think.

My osteopath told me recently that part of my back pain could be down to a bad mattress. He also thinks my old mattress might be why I'm only sleeping six hours a night and therefore tired all the time. I realised my mattress was almost ten years old and to be honest, was not an expensive investment. Only that morning I had rolled over in bed and heard a suspicious 'twang' and a 'boink' noise. I pushed down on the mattress and could feel several coiled springs poking up at me. Not good at all. So as I sat in the bed shop car park, I thought, well what's the harm in just having a look? Do I never learn?

The shop was a simple corrugated metal warehouse full of beds, bare light bulbs and a few ceiling fans. Glamorous is not the look they were after. This was functional... here are the beds, hop on, have a roll around and buy one. I personally thought it could have done with a bit of mood lighting and some soft music, and suggested that to the salesman. He said, completely straight faced, that he would take my comments on board. He then asked me my budget, size and desired firmness and showed me a few mattresses which I dutifully rolled on and said things like: "oh no, it's too hard"or "this ones nice but maybe it's not firm enough", or "no, no, no, too soft, that won't do at all". You suddenly realise you sound like goldilocks in a porn film! The salesmen don't add to the uncomfortable experience either. They stand there, about two feet from the bed, watching you do your best 'pretend to be asleep' act whilst trying not to stare and put you off. It reminded me of the time I woke up with the dreadful feeling that someone was watching me and found my neighbour standing at the bottom of my bed staring at me. At first I thought it was a burglar and very calmly said "what do you want?". When the burglar replied, with very slurred speech "oh hi jules, I just wondered if I could borrow a bottle of wine", I realised it was James. He had my spare key and thinking I was away, though it ok, in his drunken state, to let himself in and steal a bottle of wine. As you can imagine, I was not at all amused and shouted at least ten swear words in one sentence. He never did that again.


So there I was, on a bed in a warehouse in croydon and I'm desperately trying to imagine sleeping on it properly when I suddenly remembered a bed I had once slept on... an amazing bed in a B&B in the lake district. I was sure I has written down the name of the mattress because it had been one of the best nights sleep I had ever had. I quickly got out my phone, sorry... my iPhone 4s, cough cough, and looked up an old email. There it was:

A Sealy Posturepedic ultra lux latex supreme non turn

I turned to the salesman and showed him my phone and he did a sharp intake of breath, put his hands on his hips, shook his head and with a knowing smile said "oh yes, ooooh yes, well I'm not surprised you slept well on that mattress. That mattress is the king of mattresses. It is the top of the range, hand made, osteopath approved, king of mattresses. I would buy that mattress." Yes well thanks for all that but have you got one and how much is it? He pursed his lips and showed me to the back of the warehouse. There, standing alone, was another bed. It looked like all the others but the mattress was deeper and it looked cleaner and unrolled on. I realised why, when I lay down on it and was momentarily transported to bed heaven. It felt like I was being carried by a giant fluffy marshmallow with twinkling blue eyes and I'm sure a summer breeze wafted over me. When I came to, I raised an eyebrow at the salesman who raised one back and said "you can't afford it luv". Ooh, not a good move young man. Firstly, no one tells me I can't afford it, it is like a red rag to a bull, it just makes me want it more. And hello, I'm a customer, don't call me luv!



I raised my other eyebrow (which is never as good as the first one) and he sighed and said "two and a half grand". When I came to, I slipped off the bed and nonchalantly looked at the ceiling, pretending to seriously think about buying it. He was having none of it. "I can show you another one, still made by Sealy, still orthapedic, but it's only £800." Oh great, my acting was obviously so convincing that he thinks although I can't afford a few thousand pounds, I can surely afford one that's £800. It is quite clever because you immediately think, ooh what a bargain. Almost the same but it's a quarter of the price! Now don't worry, I didn't spend that much on a mattress. I also didn't just visit one bed shop. Three more shops and six hours of my life later, I bought my mattress. It is dreamy and I hope it will last me at least 15 years. It's an investment... I will sleep better, I will therefore have more energy, spend less money on my osteopath and wake up as if angels have massaged me in my sleep. My mattress is:

A Sealy Brooklyn Posturpedic silver series, 1200 pocket sprung, non turn, latex topped, all natural filling, wool toggled, osteopath approved, and hand made in the Lake District.

It was the price of half a laptop. I know it's not a laptop but I can't sleep on a laptop can I? But as far as typing in bed goes, I have found a temporary solution. I have just written this whole blog on my, cough cough, iPhone.


Comments

Anonymous said…
Did you a favor Jules. New 'sexier' Macbook Pros coming out later this month...
T-Man
Anonymous said…
words escape me. xxx
Anonymous said…
You made the right choice, so don't beat yourself up too much about it. While having a new laptop might definitely boost your productivity, I think getting the right mattress to improve your health is better. As they say, health is wealth. But just a reminder though, a mattress shouldn't serve you for as long as 15 years as it's recommended that you should replace them around 5-7 years already.

The Bedding Mart

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