Communal changing rooms and nudity.
Does anyone remember clothes shop changing rooms in the 80’s and 90’s? Usually there were about four private cubicles which you would have to queue up for, or there was a really big room for communal changing which could fit about twenty people. I absolutely hated these rooms because I would invariably be wearing my worst faded and frayed underwear that day, plus I always felt extraordinarily fat and out of shape compared to the other girls, and to top it off, everyone else seemed to have picked really cool items of clothing to try on. I would feel embarrassed, unattractive and frumpy.
Thank God this has all changed and shops now have enough changing rooms for everyone, but there are still places where getting your kit off in public is an everyday occurrence. Yes, I am talking about sports changing rooms. Whether it be a public pool, a gym, a spa or a fitness class, the changing rooms are, seemingly, the last place where you can see every age, shape and size in all its glory. I bloody loathe them.
I am not a prude. I love the human body. I can appreciate men and women’s bodies and think they are beautiful and magnificent forms, but I just think there are times and places where it is more appropriate to see someone naked. In art, nudity is completely acceptable. I often draw naked people in my life drawing classes, for example. Nude beaches are fine because everyone knows why they are there, they are forewarned of what it is they are letting themselves in for, and what they will see. At home, in private, nakedness is just lovely, whether you are by yourself or with another (much more fun with another). But in other situations, if people have to parade around naked, then there should definitely be some rules.
1. Respect other people’s personal space.
As everyone knows, I have been swimming at Babington House since I became a member a few years ago. I have to get down to my birthday suit when I change into my swimming costume, and I then have to get naked again after swimming, when I’m showered and dried, and am getting re-dressed. I usually turn towards a wall or the lockers when I remove my clothes but there are others that simply rip everything off and stand there stark naked. These are not always the body beautifuls, I hasten to add. Here are a few examples of my space well and truly being violated. Last week, I was taking off my shoes and socks and a woman bent over next to me. Her naked bottom was inches from my face. For God’s sake, was that really necessary, I thought? Could she have not moved slightly away from me and bent over with her arse in the opposite direction? Decorum, please. A few days ago, I was sitting in front of the mirror, brushing my hair, when a large lady with a heaving bosom walked behind me and grazed my back with her nipple. Gravity was not on her side and her nipple was nearer her tummy, but still, she must have been aware of where it was. Yesterday, I put a towel down next to me on the bench. Without looking, a naked woman sat down next to me, half sitting on my clean towel. Um. Yuck. All I ask is do it away from me, preferably 3 feet away.
2. Do not move around while naked.
If you do have to get naked and flash it all about, then please don’t wander around. Just stay still and then I can avoid you, because if you walk around or do exercises (yes, that happens) then it’s just harder to keep track of you. I really hate rounding a corner and bumping into a nude person. Just stop it.
3. Please don’t talk to me.
Worse than moving around while naked is striking up a conversation while naked. This happens to me all the time, especially since I’ve been doing my Channel challenge. I will be minding my own business, holding up my towel up with my teeth as I try to put on my bra, and someone will say, “Oh are you the one swimming with the snorkel?” or such like. I turn around and they are stark naked. Not only stark naked but drying their bits, and they expect me to have a good old chat about swimming. No. Just no. I will wait until you are dressed and then we can talk for as long as you like.
4. Do not scar other people’s children for life.
Parents often bring their children to the pool, and whether it’s a boy or girl, they usually get changed in the ladies changing room. A few months ago, I saw a boy of about 7, gaping open-mouthed at a naked woman a few feet in front of him. He stared and stared, looked her up and down, then went bright red and asked his mum if he could undress somewhere else. Poor boy.
So, if you recognise yourself in any of the above scenarios, and are indeed a member of Babington, then please look out for me, don’t say hello, and kindly keep your distance.
Thank God this has all changed and shops now have enough changing rooms for everyone, but there are still places where getting your kit off in public is an everyday occurrence. Yes, I am talking about sports changing rooms. Whether it be a public pool, a gym, a spa or a fitness class, the changing rooms are, seemingly, the last place where you can see every age, shape and size in all its glory. I bloody loathe them.
I am not a prude. I love the human body. I can appreciate men and women’s bodies and think they are beautiful and magnificent forms, but I just think there are times and places where it is more appropriate to see someone naked. In art, nudity is completely acceptable. I often draw naked people in my life drawing classes, for example. Nude beaches are fine because everyone knows why they are there, they are forewarned of what it is they are letting themselves in for, and what they will see. At home, in private, nakedness is just lovely, whether you are by yourself or with another (much more fun with another). But in other situations, if people have to parade around naked, then there should definitely be some rules.
1. Respect other people’s personal space.
As everyone knows, I have been swimming at Babington House since I became a member a few years ago. I have to get down to my birthday suit when I change into my swimming costume, and I then have to get naked again after swimming, when I’m showered and dried, and am getting re-dressed. I usually turn towards a wall or the lockers when I remove my clothes but there are others that simply rip everything off and stand there stark naked. These are not always the body beautifuls, I hasten to add. Here are a few examples of my space well and truly being violated. Last week, I was taking off my shoes and socks and a woman bent over next to me. Her naked bottom was inches from my face. For God’s sake, was that really necessary, I thought? Could she have not moved slightly away from me and bent over with her arse in the opposite direction? Decorum, please. A few days ago, I was sitting in front of the mirror, brushing my hair, when a large lady with a heaving bosom walked behind me and grazed my back with her nipple. Gravity was not on her side and her nipple was nearer her tummy, but still, she must have been aware of where it was. Yesterday, I put a towel down next to me on the bench. Without looking, a naked woman sat down next to me, half sitting on my clean towel. Um. Yuck. All I ask is do it away from me, preferably 3 feet away.
2. Do not move around while naked.
If you do have to get naked and flash it all about, then please don’t wander around. Just stay still and then I can avoid you, because if you walk around or do exercises (yes, that happens) then it’s just harder to keep track of you. I really hate rounding a corner and bumping into a nude person. Just stop it.
3. Please don’t talk to me.
Worse than moving around while naked is striking up a conversation while naked. This happens to me all the time, especially since I’ve been doing my Channel challenge. I will be minding my own business, holding up my towel up with my teeth as I try to put on my bra, and someone will say, “Oh are you the one swimming with the snorkel?” or such like. I turn around and they are stark naked. Not only stark naked but drying their bits, and they expect me to have a good old chat about swimming. No. Just no. I will wait until you are dressed and then we can talk for as long as you like.
4. Do not scar other people’s children for life.
Parents often bring their children to the pool, and whether it’s a boy or girl, they usually get changed in the ladies changing room. A few months ago, I saw a boy of about 7, gaping open-mouthed at a naked woman a few feet in front of him. He stared and stared, looked her up and down, then went bright red and asked his mum if he could undress somewhere else. Poor boy.
So, if you recognise yourself in any of the above scenarios, and are indeed a member of Babington, then please look out for me, don’t say hello, and kindly keep your distance.
Comments