Sunday, 13 January 2013

Resolutions so far.

How many people keep their New Years resolutions, do you think? One friend - who's resolution was to abstain from alcohol for the month of January - has already had a 'cheeky glass of red, while cooking', which she honestly thinks doesn't count. I have been guilty of letting my resolutions slip in the past but I have embraced 2013 as the year I will keep them all. 

It's started off fairly well... 

I have signed up for my Italian course and start in 'due' (that's Italian for two) weeks time.

I have bought my 'Guitar for beginners' book but have yet to get it re-strung. 

I have lost only one pound in weight but am sticking to my plan of exercising a minimum of 3 times a week. One bike ride, 45 minutes of swimming, aqua aerobics with the local old age pensioners and an hours Pilates last week. I'm exhausted. I have to be careful though, it doesn't leave much time for dating! 'Una tragedia!' (sorry, I promise I wont keep doing that!) More of dating later. 

My knees are still awaiting consultation in February. 

I haven't booked anything yet but I have looked into flights to Copenhagen, sailing holidays in Croatia and a visit to Havana. I don't think I can do all three now because of money, but two out of three will make me very happy. In a strange link to dating, I have just discovered that the tallest men on average (6'), live in Denmark, Norway, Croatia and Serbia. Another excuse for visiting because I would really like to go out with someone taller than me (5'9") and unfortunately the average height for a British male is only 5'9". 

Finding a boyfriend is hard work. In fact, I've discovered quite a few things on my quest to find a man. Internet dating is cut throat. You can be looked at and rejected about 20 times a day. Last Sunday my profile was viewed 26 times but not one of them was interested enough to send me a message. Two weeks ago, I spent three hours reading through profiles of men that were 'matches' for me (meaning that the computer works out your compatibility based on your answers and then calculates a percentage). I sent 18 messages. Each man I wrote to, I was apparently a 100% match for them. I didn't base it on looks but they did have to look fairly normal. I was witty and charming and flattering in these messages. Men like that. How many do you think replied? 6! Out of those 6 replies, 4 of them wrote messages that were witty and charming and flattering and so things quickly progressed to setting up dates. 
As I said last week, I had dates set up with a council worker, a politician and a businessman. Then a 4th date appeared in the form of a property developer I 'met' online, a few days ago. Four dates in my first week, all very promising I thought. 

The council worker. It wasn't his fault but the first thing I noticed about him was that he had a very sweet face but didn't seem to have a neck. It was very disconcerting because it looked like he was disappearing into his shirt. His interests on his profile were playing tennis and watching tennis. Now, I love tennis too but I don't live and breathe it. I quickly found out, that was all he was interested in. I asked what he would do with his spare time if he couldn't play tennis, and he said, with a completely stricken face, 'I would eat chocolate'. I thought that was hilarious but he was being quite serious. Then I found out his job was in health & safety. Sweet man but nooooo! NEXT!

The Politician. Possibly one of the strangest dates I've ever had. The first problem was that I recognised him from the television. I had seen him maybe five years ago on a News programme, getting quite irate with the interviewer, his eyes bulging slightly as his tufts of ginger hair quivered. He hadn't changed much. He was 25 minutes late, for which he did not apologise, and when the cafe we were in, said they didn't serve alcohol, he said he wouldn't have anything to drink at all then, very sulkily. Weird because it was only noon, hardly cocktail hour. The worst thing though, was his superiority complex and constant oneupmanship. 

We began talking about the Lake District and I started to say "I've been lucky enough to have spent a lot of time up there, my family own a beautiful..." And he interrupted saying, and I quote, "Yes, my grandparents owned a stunning property in the Southern Lakes. I would say I am quite an expert on that area of Britain actually. In fact, I would go so far as to say, if I was dropped from a helicopter in dense fog anywhere in the Lake District, within five minutes I would know where I was." Haha. It was such a bold statement that I began to be highly entertained.  I started to plant little seeds to get him to do one better. If I had seen a play, he had seen it twice, and knew the director. If I had gone to the opera, he had seen the same one, but in Vienna. If I mentioned a restaurant, he was friends with the chef. And another brilliant one, was when I said I liked buying sausages from this butcher at Borough market... he said 'Well of course, I know the stall holder and he shoots me anything I ask for. Yesterday I picked up two grouse and a hare'. I am not exaggerating. It was quite extraordinary. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he abruptly said he had to leave and then tried to kiss me on the lips... In broad daylight! I managed to swerve it and got a wet one on the cheek! For Gods sake! NEXT!

The businessman. Canceled due to illness, so it has been postponed. 

The property developer. Emailed me on Friday night, after we had spent ages planning where and when to meet for brunch on Sunday, cancelling the date saying 'It was a bit far for him to come for only a few hours, and he was going to wait until I could spend longer with him'. I pointed out that two hours seemed fine for a first date, that I didn't want to spend the whole day with him! I was trying to be funny. Obviously it didn't tickle his funny bone and I haven't heard from him since. Oh dear. 


Next weekend I have dates with a writer for the Economist and a charity worker. It's certainly broadening my horizons. 

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