It's happened

What I Have.

I officially have the ruddy cheeks of my predecessors.

The women on my mothers side of the family are predisposed to have the look of being permanently at sea; a sort of flushed cheek. It sounds quite pretty doesn't it, as if you have been coyly blushing or just had a little excitement or been gently exercising... but in reality it is rosacea; tiny little veins near the surface of your skin that make you look like you've been slapped! I thought I might have escaped it, reaching 43 and still having a one-toned face but a ghost from my genetic past has woken up and gone... ooops, we forgot about you, here, have some florid cheeks! Thanks a lot.

There are quite a few things that have changed on my body over the years but most of them have come on slowly and I have been prepared; the gravity thing, the softening of the jawline, the enlargement of the bottom, the squinting of the eyes as you try to read small print in low lighting. So, it's been a gradual process and I have combatted most of them.

Gravity = more expensive bras

Jawline = the lion yoga pose... (sticking your tongue out as far it goes and exhaling like a roaring lion; it makes you laugh too so that keeps you young!)

Large Bottom = find men that like it!

Eyesight = trendy glasses that make you feel as if you are doing the slutty secretary thing, all swooshy hair and pouting every time you put them on (I know that feeling won't last!)

Rosacea, however, has come upon me overnight, after only 7 hours of sleep. Honestly, I woke up this morning, looked at myself in the mirror and thought I must be drunk. My cheeks were that of a sozzled whiskey drinker. At least I haven't got a drunkards nose, there's a blessing... but perhaps that's next! Maybe I'll wake up and see my already large beak transformed into nose of a proboscis monkey!

So... what I'm looking for today ladies and gents, is how to cover up this - let's call it - the flush of my late youth? And before you say it... no, it doesn't looks fine without!