The Forum

Where I Went.

Last night I went to a 4-hour seminar with a good friend, who had prepared me for the evening with the words "Just keep an open mind, that's all I ask". I am very trusting.

My friend had been attending the Landmark Forum for the last few months and last night was her last session. This entailed bringing a friend along to experience what the Forum is all about, to hear from some of the members and hear what it had done for them. I do have an open mind and try and be non-judgmental so I was intrigued.

I thought I already knew a little about the Forum, reading about it from years before. I imagined it to be a sort of giant group-therapy, lots of hugs and tears and whooping! I thought it might be in the same vain as Anthony Robbins, the hugely popular American motivational speaker who claims to “Unleash the Power Within”. I met Anthony Robbins back in 1992, when I was living in San Diego. I designed the banners for his first shows, probably when he only had a few hundred in the audience and possibly only a few hundred in the bank but he was already being talked about. People said he was inspiring and had changed their lives and so when I had the chance to hand deliver the banners, I jumped at the chance. I met him in his office and was greeted by this 6'6" giant, all tan and teeth and the biggest hands I have ever seen. He shook my hand and I swear I just grinned. He exuded this charm, this wisdom and unbelievable confidence. I would have believed anything he told me. He just said "Thank you Juliet. These banners are great,” and I felt like I had won the lottery. It sounds ridiculous but some people really do ooze “magic”. I wasn't surprised when he became one of the most famous men in the country or when he became a multi-millionaire or when he appeared on Oprah. He HAS helped millions of people find their confidence so I do believe it can happen.

I knew my friend had turned things around in her life with the help of this Forum, that she was full of confidence and everything had sort of slotted into place for her. She hadn't been brainwashed or joined a cult, she reassured me, she had just found a way forward.

We went to a large building near Euston and then up four floors to a large open plan room with about 150 people in it. There were members with printed name tags and their guests with hand written name tags. "Promise me I won't have to get up and share," I said to my my friend, looking around at all the smiling people. She laughed "no... well, not unless you want to". Don't say that to a closet actress... I see a stage and want to be on it!! The evening began with an introduction from a very charismatic woman, the Forum leader. She explained what the Forum could do for you, how it could teach you ways of dealing with things. Their official tag line is: Landmark Education, Innovative programs for living an extraordinary life. She told us her background and then invited members up to share their stories. They were honestly really really inspirational and my God, what a mixed bag!

The first man to speak was a Rabbi. He had fallen out with his brother over money issues in regards to supporting their Father, who had fallen on hard times. The brother refused to pay towards helping their Father. They hadn't spoken in 6 months. He attended the Landmark Seminar and he said it had taught him how to approach the problem differently, to say what he thought, to be honest etc. Now he was able to talk to his brother and just that morning, he had received a cheque from his brother.

Cool. Everyone clapped.

The second man was a gay business man who hadn't spoken to his Father in 20 years. He admitted his biggest problem was procrastinating and there were so many things he kept putting off doing. He said the Forum helped him get more organised and be more procreative and he had, with their help, spoken to his Father and also chosen his new sofa! Ha.

We liked him. We all clapped.

And so it went on... really great stories. Not all were emotional about family feuds and fall outs but the ones that were... blimey, I got choked up! There were people with confidence issues, actors who wanted to be better performers, businessmen who wanted to go out on their own but didn't have the courage, a retired Doctor whose house was a mess. All kinds of people with all sorts or reasons for being there.

I fully embrace anything that helps people feel better. And these people were more confident, less fearful and were very happy and excited about getting a new lease of life. There were lots of happy, smiley people there which is slightly disorientating but that may be just because I'm used to British people walking around looking miserable for the most part! I think maybe the French are not used to looking happy either because they are the only country that has banned the Landmark Forum! Weird.

I used to say to myself "Jump.. and the net will appear." I used to be less afraid to try new things and I guess maybe with age I feel I have more to lose and so don't go for it as much. I'm not saying that this way of doing it is for me... the Landmark is a very very expensive way of doing it. But my friend feels great and that's wonderful.

There was one exercise that we all did last night that I thought was really good. Write on a piece of paper something you want in life but feel there is an obstacle. And always use the word BUT. So it could be:

I really want to change my job BUT I'm scared I won't find another.

I really want to get fit BUT I never seem to find the time to exercise.

I love my husband BUT we argue all the time.

Anyway, you get the idea. I wrote:

I really wish I could see my friends more BUT they are always busy with their lives and kids

It sounds a bit pathetic doesn't it, a bit poor me, oh no one loves me sort of thing. It also sounds like I'm blaming my friends for not seeing me. So, then we were told to write the same sentence out but change the word BUT to AND. So my sentence would now say:

I really wish I could see my friends more AND they are always busy with their lives and kids

The emphasis completely changes because now its not a dead end. Yes, my friends have busy lives but it means I may have to fit in with them a bit more and not blame them for it. Make it happen yourself, be more proactive and change it. Anyway, it seems to work with any sentence. Try it.