Thursday, 13 October 2011

Walking Wounded

What we are.

Well we haven't even left to go on holiday yet but with our combined ailments we are the walking wounded. My mother, sister and I are going to Morocco for a girls only trip to celebrate my Mother's 70th Birthday. We are all very fit and healthy but as the approaching date for departure nears, things have happened.

Mother: Probably the fittest person in the whole family having enjoyed walking and yoga her whole life but she is also terribly accident prone. I had to inherit it from somewhere and unluckily, I have it from both parents! So Mama was up in the Lake District visiting an old neighbour when she walked down a particularly slippery and dark path to his cottage and slipped on some dog poo. The hand went down to break her fall and she landed hard on her bottom. Broken wrist and cracked coccyx! So as the doctor went to put on her plaster cast, she exclaimed "No.. I'm going on holiday and will be swimming so please no cast!" She has it, therefore, in a sort of removable cast, a glorified roller skating wrist guard. She also can only sit on one buttock at a time and it has to be sideways. So that will be interesting.

Sister: The hardest working person in the family with a very demanding job and two children and a husband to look after. Over the last two weeks, she has gone from having a little cold to full on flu symptoms and laryngitis. She also has crappy arthritis, gets labyrinthitis and hates flying! Poor thing.

Me: Away for work a few weeks ago I decided to go for a swim in the local pool. I was very much advised against this as I was told it was "the filthiest pool in the country!". But I was a little stressed from work and thought an hours swimming would do the trick. It was vile so I took my goggles off and swum on my back hoping for the best. The next day I developed an ear infection! The whole left side of my neck swelled up and I looked quite odd. After a week on antibiotics, the ear infection went to my throat and so I am now on my 3rd batch trying desperately to clear it up before we go away. Yesterday I yawned and heard something pop in my back. It felt like someone had stretched an elastic band over my shoulder and then "pinged" it. The only thing that seems to relieve it is to touch my toes every half an hour.

So I think half our suitcases will be taken up with drugs, pills and potions and the other half will be hot water bottles for the aches and pains. One will be armless and walking diagonally, one will be voiceless, dizzy and sleepwalking and one will be bending over and touching their toes every few minutes. Marrakech used to have a bit of a reputation for that sort of thing but these days it's probably best for me to keep that to a minimum!!!!

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