What is wrong with people?

What I Saw.

Last night, my friend Polly and I went to the theatre to see The Betrayal, a Harold Pinter play with Kristen Scott Thomas, Ben Miles and Dougie Henshall. We were lucky to get tickets because it sold out within days. Our seats were quite near the back, my view blocked partially by a pillar and a very tall man. Polly's view was blocked by another very large headed man but it didn't matter, we were just happy to be there. Just before the lights went down, an announcement said "Please make sure all your mobiles are turned off. Please don't turn them to vibrate or silent because that will still be very distracting for the actors. Please turn them off." Pretty damn clear we thought. Most normal people had already done this but a dozen or so people dug around for their phones again and muttering, turned them to off off. Then there was the usual coughing and fidgeting until the actors began.

Harold Pinter plays are minimal... usually entirely script focused, not a huge amount of action and very intense. The audience has to be quiet during one of his plays because otherwise you might miss the revelation and the entire point of the play. But, in spite of this, I swear to God, last night was like sitting in a bloody zoo! The culprits were:

1. A woman about 6 seats to our left was wearing a very long string of pearls. These she wrapped around her fingers over and over again causing a sort of clucking, knocking sound. She did this throughout the play.

2. A woman about 4 seats to our right was checking her mobile phone for messages and so the screen would randomly light up. She did this 3 or 4 times.

3. Two people's mobile phones actually rang. Half the audience tutted and I heard one man say quietly, "shame on you" which amused me because it had so much more impact than the "what the fuck?" I would have said.

4. Several people had not turned their digital watch alarms off so every half an hour we could hear "beep, beep" from several different directions.

5. The girl sitting on Polly's left had brought her water in a plastic shopping bag. Every time she went for a sip of water, she leant over, grabbed it out of the rustling bag and then put it back again. Why couldn't she just keep it on her bloody lap?

6. The girl behind me had on an armful of jangly bracelets. She was an unbelievable fidget and therefore jangled throughout the play.

7. The tall man in front of me, who's view was also partially obscured by the pillar would suddenly tilt his head to the left when he couldn't see the actor, causing a sort of ripple effect as I, and then the row behind, all tilted their heads to see past the one in front. Hilarious.

8. The same tall man decided he was in the back row of the cinema and put his huge, hairy arm around his girlfriend/wife and she then put her head on his shoulder. Hello? Where do you think you are?

A bloody zoo!! No manners, no respect. It was all so absurd, Pinter probably would have loved it. Polly and I actually got the giggles at one point because several of the things above happened simultaneously. When the actors took their curtain call, they looked peeved. I don't blame them.